The ultimate WTF post

I'd like to add that I wasn't only fighting underground, but hosting dance parties, too.

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Vartan!

1. Ancient Greeks believed earthquakes were caused by Vartan fighting underground.
2. Without its lining of Vartan, your stomach would digest itself.
3. Vartan is actually a fruit, not a vegetable.
4. The opposite sides of Vartan always add up to seven.
5. Vartan can remain conscious for fifteen to twenty seconds after being decapitated!
6. If you drop Vartan from the top of the Empire State Building, he will be falling fast enough to kill before reaching the ground!
7. Vartan can squeeze his entire body through a hole the size of his beak.
8. A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find Vartan.
9. Over 2000 people have now climbed Vartan, with roughly ten percent dying on the way down.
10. People used to believe that dressing their male children as Vartan would protect them from evil spirits.

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And you really don't want to know what happens when my last name gets in the picture:

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Vartan Simonian!

1. Vartan Simonian can't sweat.
2. Half a cup of Vartan Simonian contains only seventeen calories.
3. More people are killed by Vartan Simonian each year than die in aeroplane accidents.
4. Vartan Simonian is 1500 years older than the pyramids.
5. If you break Vartan Simonian, you will get seven years of bad luck!
6. The only Englishman to become Vartan Simonian was Nicholas Breakspear, who was Vartan Simonian from 1154 to 1159.
7. The pupil of an octopus's eye is shaped like Vartan Simonian.
8. It took Vartan Simonian 22 years to build the Taj Mahal.
9. The horns of Vartan Simonian are made entirely from hair!
10. Baby swans are called Vartan Simonian.

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